Monday, October 6, 2008

Value Essay


Summer Experiences



In this 21st century it seems to me that people value money with something almost like an obsession. It seems that its all people care about. How do you value the things without a price? Do you even value them? I think very few people know the true meaning of value. Value is the importance, worth, or utility of something. How can you say how much you value something if it doesn’t have a price? You only know what truly is valuable to yourself.


I start by inviting some close friends over to hangout and have a fun night. This night I choose Sarah. I use my cell phone and call her. I hear the definite Sarah voice and ask her what she’s up to. She explains how she’s not busy and would love to come over and hang out. About an hour later her gold Doge car shows up in my driveway. Sarah walks up and I meet her at my front door. Her perfect smile hits me first as we say our hellos and I welcome her in. I tell her what my plan is for the night and we venture off to find my neighbors.


Once we arrive at Austin’s house we group up with his friends and walk back down to my closer neighbor’s house. His name is Mike and he lives one house away from me. As the night gets darker and the wind starts blowing it starts to get chilly so we begin to make teams for manhunt. This game is played frequently in my neighborhood during the cool summer nights. Most of the time we play at Mike’s which happens to be the case tonight.


After a long game of running through the woods, tripping off things you can’t see in the dark, and sneakily getting to the base, we start to walk home. Sarah and I go back to my house with Austin and his friend and lay down in the driveway. The guys join us as we lay closely admiring the clear sky. We all yell out when we see a shooting star. [Most of the time joking] Although when you really see one zoom by we all make a whish. We all talk about random stuff and how much we enjoy the summer nights together. Once we’ve had enough and start to get cold we say goodbye and go through the dark summer night up the driveway to my house. These nights outside in the summer night with my friends is all about fun and freedom.


I grasp my matching mouth guard and goggles as I admire my lacrosse stick. I put on my goggle and put my mouth guard in place. I finally grab my stick with pride. I know that I look flashy when I walk on the field, everything matching to the school colors. I make my appearance with my first step on the field.


I love when it’s the time to go out shopping for new lacrosse gear. I can’t go in with a cost limit cause then you don’t get what you want. You have to go in open minded. I try and go in thinking about the quality that I want. That is how I got the lacrosse stick I own today.


For seven years now I have been playing this sport. I started in third grade learning the basics. I have upgraded my stick only two times. I own three sticks total. My old stick being used for three good years seemed to be getting pretty old and used. My shaft’s color almost rubbed off and the head looking pretty dirty. Oh and may I mention the fact that I could bend the head in half? [Which you shouldn’t be able to do] That is when my parents finally believed me and allowed me to get my new stick.


This stick was purchased at a lacrosse store in East Longmeadow. I picked it out piece by piece and had it custom strung. This took about an hour for me to make up my decision. I was constantly thinking will I enjoy this while I am playing and is this something that is worth the value? I definitely though it would be! So I finally made my decision and was just waiting on the owner to finish stringing the head before I could officially have my new lacrosse stick. My lacrosse stick allows me to have fun and keep myself busy.


These items are similar and different in some ways. They both keep me busy and let me have fun. I enjoy both and they both make me happy. They are done outside and with my friends. Lacrosse is during the hot days outside and manhunt/looking at the stars in during the dark breezy nights.They are full of running around and using energy.Lacrosse is more serious then manhunt/looking at the stars and it has stricter rules. There's a team that wins in lacrosse just like manhunt but you only play one game at a time.


I hope you understand the fact that you and I can value things even if they don’t have a price. America is too dependent on the priced items in the world and don't realize all the priceless items. Many go in debt because they spend too much money instead of using what they can to have a good time or just to have fun. I value my items in very different but similar ways and love them all.




6 comments:

lindsay said...

After reading this essay, Nicole seems to be saying that things with cost and objects without cost, can both be just as important.
I think that lacrosse and hanging out with her friends were two objects that were most clearly described. "I grasp my matching mouth guard and goggles as I admire my lacrosse stick. I put on my goggle and put my mouth guard in place. I finally grab my stick with pride. I know that I look flashy when I walk on the field, everything matching to the school colors." I really liked this because Nicole was very descriptive so i could get a clear picture in my head of what this was like.
I think the introduction and conclusion was one of this essay's overall strengths. I thought it was a really good idea how nicole wrote the definition of value. I also liked how she asked questions in the introduction. In the conclusion, i thought it was good how nicole restated some of the things from the introduction.
Nicole's essay was really well written. One suggestion i have would to describe hanging out with your friends a little more. Maybe try adding a few more descriptive detailss.
Good Job Nicole !

Julia said...

After reading this essay it is easy to see that Nicole wants people to enjoy the priceless moments in life, and not buy your happiness. She wants you to enjoy what you have and don't underestimate it. Nicole strongly values both her lacrosse stick, and playing manhunt during summer nights.
I believe that Nicole's description of her and her friends playing manhunt, and looking up at the stars was very descriptive. I particulary liked this line,"The guys join us as we lay closely admiring the clear sky. We all yell out when we see a shooting star. [Most of the time joking] Although when you really see one zoom by we all make a wish." It was very easy for me to picture that image in my mind.
In general, Nicole's essay had many strengths. I believe that her organization and Conclusion were her strongest points. She did a great job organizing each topic, and making sure the each paragraph was about the same thing, and wasn't all over the place. Her conclusion was also very well. She did a great job comparing her object and priceless moment.
One piece of advice I can give Nicole is to make sure you read over your work, even if it is a rough draft. Be sure to check for spelling and grammatical errors, but other than that, a job well done. (:

Hannah said...

I thought that Nicole did a great job in her essay about two very important values in her life. She described two things, and through her writing I could tell she really cared about them. I think that both values are equally important to her, and she didn’t like one more or less.
I line that was good in her essay to me was, “I know that I look flashy when I walk on the field, everything matching to the school colors.” I thought that this was good because she showed good voice in that part. Also she described how she felt and looked, which the reader can picture.
One strength in this essay was that Nicole did a good job organizing her essay. She had a good amount of detail for each topic, and put it the right place. She also organized the paragraphs good, and they flowed into each other good. Another strength was that her voice was very strong in this essay. It sounded like a person was talking, and made perfect sense.
One thing I would advise for Nicole to do so she could improve her essay on would be to add more adjectives. She could add some unique adjectives in some places to maybe make it sound more complex. But other than Good job Nicole!!

abbbbbey said...

When reading this essay i can tell that the author thinks valuable things are like and obsession in the 21st century. Nicole really seems values her lacrosse stick and summer nights with friends.

The the priceless moment or object that the author seems like describe very well is the summer nights. The part i think that is strongly described is "Sarah and I go back to my house with Austin and his friend and lay down in the driveway. The guys join us as we lay closely admiring the clear sky." I can see the author and her friends laying with all their heads close together just watching the stars.

I think Nicole's overall strength is her word choice. She uses certain words like perfect (instead of nice) for example. Also her organization that her essay is in s great as well

I dont think nicole really needs anything to improve on. all she really needs to do is just re-read / proofread her essay and double check for misspelled words and such (even though i found none) great job nicole (:

teddy said...

Nicole believes that value has taken on a different meaning in the world as of late. This has happened especially in America she thinks and is getting out of control. Nicole isn’t sure whether people know that value can be priceless anymore. Nicole values her lacrosse stick and summer nights under the stars playing manhunt with her friends.

I think the better described item in Nicole’s essay was the lacrosse stick. This is because She takes you through the steps of buying the stick, picking out the custom parts and also playing with it. Seeing Nicole in the lacrosse store for an hour is not hard to imagine. She does a great job on both values but this one was slightly better.

This essays biggest strength was the introduction. It gave a strongly opinionated and highly controversial topic. Of coarse the essay is a very good one overall but this certain part was even better than the rest. The topic was the amount of money value compared to priceless value in America today. Nicole wonders if people are becoming to selfish about money and material possessions.

The essay is very good. One suggestion I would make to improve the essay would be to simply go over the essay and check for errors. I noticed while reading a few that sometimes made the paper confusing for a second.

Juliette said...

After I read Nicole's essay, it was clear to me how much she believes money can't buy your happiness and I totally agree.

Her lacrosse stick was clearly described. She explained how much she values it and also how much it means to her. I could also really visualize her lacrosse stick and gear and what its like for her. " I finally grab my stick with pride. I know that I look flashy when I walk on the field, everything matching to the school colors. I make my appearance on my first step on the field." I really liked this because it stated how much her gear really means to her and what its like when she wears it.

I agree with Lindsay's comment about her strengths. She wrote her introduction and conclusion well and wrote what value is. She also had strength in her sentence fluency where her essay was easy to read and understand.

Overall Nicole's essay was very well written but there are some word choice and easy to fix grammatical mistakes. Also, it might be good to add some more descriptions on what its like or what happens while she plays manhunt. Well done Nicole :)